Carl Thomas dot net

Father’s Day Thoughts

Father’s Day started early for me this year.  I set my alarm for 5:30 so I could work on my message before church.  When I got back to my bedroom I found my wife and two kids in my bed not hiding something very well.  In a bag under the covers was a bag that had a shirt and cards from my wife and kids.

I never take these days for granted.

I never knew my father.  I met him in my mid 20s while visiting family in Pittsburgh.  It was an odd meeting that I could not describe in this little writing.  Though I was not saved I had forgiven him for abandoning me years earlier.  I don’t know why but I knew it was what I had to do.

As I look at my little offspring I simply could not imagine living without them.

My son is as active as the ocean with a mind that never stops regardless what you are trying to accomplish.  But inside that endless wind up toy is a boy that has such a deep connection and trust in his father that I have a fear of the Lord in breaking it.  The thought of not being around to shape and mold him into the man lurking behind those giggling eyes breaks my heart.  I am physically pained at the idea of not being in his life and he in mine.

My daughter will have to exercise much character to not manipulate the love that I have for her.  I find it painfully difficult to discipline her because she has so captured my heart.  Her witty expressions and her explosive joy brings cheer to my heart.  Sometimes I watch her from across the room to see the facial expressions she makes.  I am completely enamored with her.

Today I read a couple articles in the New York Times written by a father and son who reunited after 24 years.  The father kept a photo of he and his 10 year-old son,  arms wrapped around each other, as they walked down a pier to a boat.  I can see my son and I doing the same thing.  My son is almost 9 do I can even imagine the picture.  But this picture captured the last time father and son would see each other for a quarter century.  The father got on that boat at the end of the pier and moved on with his life.

I could not imagine that.  I am unable to imagine living without my children.  I can’t imagine the torture that having that picture and not being able to replay that affection.  It would be like dieing anew every time I saw it.

I know father’s day is supposed to be about the father but this man is just tearfully happy to be able to celebrate this day as a father.  Not as a memory, or stories that your mother grudgingly told you.  Not a picture that is stuffed in a box in the hall.  Not a fantacy that might one day swoop in and change everything.

But as a dad.