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Faith in Your Prayer Language

Paul teaches time and again that when we pray in the Holy Ghost we are doing far more than we can see or hear. When we pray in our prayer language we are shifting heaven and earth to align our life with the will of God.

Be encouraged!

Keys to Avoiding Adultery – A Lesson for Men

I experienced a powerful reminder that I could preach and teach nine different ways.  Get out of it what you need to then put these valuable keys into practice.

Last night Tracey and I were sitting on the couch.  She was folding laundry and I was sitting there watching her fold laundry.  When she was done she looked at me, took a breath, swallowed hard and said she wanted to talk to me but did not want to start an argument.  That is almost never a good sign.

She then began to communicate a feeling of discomfort about a woman that we know.  There was nothing in the natural that would be cause for concern.  She seems like a woman of virtue, loving God, no obvious sin, has never been inappropriate with people we respect. But she wanted to tell me that she was uncomfortable.

I saw absolutely no grounds for concern.  None whatsoever.  I could have easily told my wife that she was being insecure and gotten offended that she did not trust me but I didn’t.

Men, this is a powerful lesson that you need to learn.  Read this and do not take it lightly.  I am sure there were parts of me that wanted to get offended and self righteous but I didn’t for primarily two reasons.

I understand covering and there are areas in a man’s life that only a wife can truly have his back.

The fact is, men who are far more sanctified, far more holy, with far more bible in them, with far greater relationships with God, and with far greater marriages than yours and mine have fallen into adultery.  If you think you can’t fall you are filled with pride and are closer to falling than you ever imagined.  Men who love Jesus do not plan to cheat, but they do.

I have not cheated on my wife and I am not going to start today.  I have no desire to and I don’t have the opportunity.  But if I don’t work to keep it that way, who knows.  It’s all about setting up your life to make it as hard as possible to cheat and your spouse better be a major part of that plan.

With that in mind here is how I reacted:

1. I reiterated that I welcomed my wife’s concerns in this area of my life.  I let her know that I am not upset or defensive with what she told me. I told her to tell me right away whenever she has this feeling.  If the feeling is strong, tell me even sooner.  Your wife is uniquely gifted to pick up on the feelings of other women toward you.  It’s not jealousy, it’s covering.  Stay covered. If you have not submitted to a pastor or mentor then your pride is going to make it really hard for you to submit this area of your life to your spouse.  Take this as an opportunity to work on both of these.
2. I honestly told my wife that I have never felt a romantic pull from this woman in my soul.  I further confessed that there are women that have come around that I have had to keep a distance from.  Inordinate affection makes me feel really weird and I try to avoid it.  During the conversation I realized that I need to pay attention to that more and make my wife aware of those situations.
3. I have told Tracey time and again that she can look through my phone history, text messages, emails, facebook messages and whatever else she wants, whenever she wants.  And she has!  Me telling her she can is a deterrent but not if she never does it.  I look through all that stuff on her computer and phone but mainly because I am nosy.
   Popular culture says that I need to trust, and I do.  But I don’t want parts of my life separate from my wife.  And I don’t want parts of her life separate from me.
4. I took openness even further.  After service I stand at the front to talk to whomever wants to talk with the me.  I told Tracey that if I am ever having a talk with a woman that she has liberty to walk up and stand next to me.  If I ever call a meeting that a woman is going to be in, she has a standing invitation.  She already knows not to ever leave me alone in a room with a woman and I don’t believe she would.
   I have gone even further with this.  I have a ministry assistant.  The easiest way to lose that position is to leave me alone at the altar with a woman.  I have openly rebuked men who walked out of rooms I was in talking to a woman.  I can’t risk my reputation in this area and the woman should not have to risk her’s either.
5. I told Tracey that it is possible that this woman is not the issue but Holy Spirit is using this as a warning that there might be a problem somewhere else and to watch more closely.
6. We also talked about the role of women in the church.  We can’t limit the role of women simply because they have the capacity to commit adultery with men.  We can’t structure leadership and ministry this way.  We have to utilize the gifts He brings however He brings them.
7. We also agreed that we cannot let jealousy or insecurity rule our marriage.  The fact is that I will cheat if I want to and Tracey will cheat if she wants to.  There is no amount of structure that can keep it from happening.  To try and create that will drive you crazy.  But we can create systems that all but eliminate opportunities the enemy can exploit.   Adultery rarely happens in a moment.  It is normally cultured by inappropriate behavior and foolish decisions run a muck.  I have to have a heart for faithfulness and a desire to be separated from evil.

I felt great that we had this discussion.  If you have not had it with your spouse lately, have it this week.  The truth of the matter is that your desire not to cheat has to be bigger than your ego.

Later that night as Tracey slept I opened my kindle app and hoped to finish a book I had been reading.  It was Kris Vallotton’s Moral Revolution.  The first thing I read was a story about an employee who one day told Kris that she loved him and thought they should have an affair together!  All along this woman thought Kris had been sending signals through the 1960′s tunes he was singing in the work truck.  He was blind sided by the very thing my wife had just warned me about.

Call it what you want but I call that confirmation that I need my wife to watch my back and keep it! Guess what?   So do you.

Let me know what you think in the comments.

Speak Faith Over Your Soul

Just because we do not see what God has promised manifest in our lives, it does not give us license to get discouraged or create a doctrine of defeat.

The believer needs to learn to believe God in the midst of disappointment.

Be encouraged to continue to hope for your healing, your deliverance, the salvation of your family, and your increase.

Boldness Comes When You Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

“God may not be using you because you are not willing to be used.”

“If you are called, answer that call.”

“Boldness comes when you step out of your comfort zone.”

Advice from My Marriage Group to Ourselves Before the Marriage

In my marriage group we did a little exercise. We asked the question,

If you could go visit yourself before you got married and give a little marriage advice what would you say?

We took turns between the men and the women starting with the men.  Here is what we came up with.

1. Patience
2. Be Humble
3. Remember that your spouse comes from a different background
4. The marriage is more important than the wedding
5. It’s not about me
6. My spouse has different dreams and aspirations
7. Don’t be a control freak
8. Trust your spouse’s intentions
9. Listen more.  Talk less.
10. Get marriage advise from saved, married people.
11. You’re not as spiritual as you think you are.  Your wife is more spiritual than you think she is. Don’t lecture.
12. Your spouse has different expectations then you do.
13. What you hear is not necessarily what your wife is saying.
14. God will make your marriage succeed.
15. God’s plans are worth waiting for.
16. Intimacy is important.
17. Have fun, keep dating.
18. Pray together.
19. Get along with your spouse’s family because they are not going anywhere.

Would you add anything?

Jesus Was, Is and Always Will Be Healer

Jesus is the healer.

Secret Confession: I Like Smart People

I have a confession to make.  I like smart people.  I like to be around smart people.  I get frustrated with people who are not smart and have no plans to do anything about it.

This is not an elitist attitude.  I don’t think I am anything special in the cognitive department, but I spend lots of my time jam packing my few working memory glands with as much information as I possibly can.

One problem in my quest to know everything is that I can be pretty lazy at times.  With that in mind I have developed strategies to maximize my learning while minimizing effort.  Allow me to share.

To keep smart friends you have to be a thinker. Smart people don’t like to hang out with the idiot who does not know why the debt ceiling is a man made crises, or why eschatology matters or why you should never feed the trolls.  This requires you to think which makes you smarter.

Do you want to be a smart person?  I have a one word solution.  Read.  Ok, its actually four words.  Read books without pictures.  No, watching YouTube videos is not a substitute.

Don’t believe me?  Find people who are able to express themselves verbally.  Ask them if they read.  There is a pretty good chance they do.  I would say ask someone who writes well but you have to be a reader to determine that.

Read.  Read.  Read some more.  Hang out with people who read.  Start a book club and talk to people who read the same thing.  Little by little you will see your conversations shift and your communication improve.

Those are my little secrets.

Breakthrough in Worship

Defilement comes off and worship erupts.

We don’t sing for the same reasons the world sings. We sing to worship Jesus as one. If we sing for any other reason we are wasting our time.

Some times you have to stop and just worship Jesus in our prayer language till our focus shifts toward Jesus.

When the funk comes pray in the Holy Ghost till it lifts.

Run Your Race – Wednesday What’s Up

So many times we try to run other people’s race instead of running our own. God has graced you to run your race so run it with endurance.

Activating Dreams and Visions – Wednesday What’s Up 107

Peter said that dreams and visions were the new language of God and that they are the promise for every believer.