Carl Thomas dot net

An Open Letter to Craigslist Posters

In my effort to find a new(ish) laptop I have been looking through craigslist for a used notebook computer.    After spending several weeks reading the ads I would like to write the following letter to people selling laptops on the free site.

Dear computer seller,

Thank you for posting the advertisement for your old laptop.  Just like you said, it does appear to be in great shape . . . for a personal electronics device that is older than every coin in my pocket.  Thank you for stating that you have upgraded the operating system well beyond the minimum system requirements for that OS.  The battery probably does not hold that long of a charge but that won’t be much of a problem because I bet it will still run at least 15 minutes before the cpu overheats and shuts the whole thing down while burning my hand and smoking up the joint.  Surely nobody will laugh as you have to bring in that mainframe of a device into starbucks on a handtruck.  One neat item is clearly that you won’t mind the wait in line for your cup of joe because when you return it still won’t have finished booting yet.  And to think,  none of those pesky built in wifi issues!

I realize that it was specially configured for napster and that it has a built in 33.6k modem.  And the USB 1.0 port is really a neat feature.  I also realize that you paid $1700 for it and you are only selling it for a third of that price because you are buying a new laptop from dell.

But I have one question. . . what is the name of the fantasy world you live in?   Have your friends and family called you up to laugh at you for posting this?  Did craigslist call to verify that this was not a prank listing?  Are you going to throw in a 100MB zip drive if we act fast?  Do you really think someone is going to give you $600 for your computer that has less computing power than my blackberry?  Have you actually looked at what kind of laptop you can get for $600?

Here is some much needed advice.  Don’t give it to your grandkids or drop it off at goodwill.  They probably have far better computers than this.  Just wipe off all your stolen software and other filth from the hard drive then search the google for electronics recycling.  Before dropping off said computer, go on Craigslist and delete your listing and repent of ever having wasted electrons on it.

Sincerely,

Carl Thomas